A Reminder: Paris Hilton Does Work For A Living

Sometimes with all the press about her recreation, people forget that Paaris Hilton is a consumate professional.


Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton's CD is NOT Selling

I live in a cave and news about Paris Hilton's musical debut was in my face for months, it got lots of FREE promotion from the media. Even if they were predicting it's failure they were still in effect generating interest.

Now that the actual product is in stores the fact that very few people would actually pay to own her music is apparent. The number I found was 75,000 copies. I think it might have sold better if it had sounded atrocious. Most reviewers have conceded that it is a very well crafted and inoffensive bunch of club tracks.

If I was interviewing Paris Hilton, I would pick out some of the musical performers who are not cute at all from the Billboard Album chart and ask her to compare her album with theirs.


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Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton's Phone Abuse: It's Not Hacking

Hacker's, the people with tricked out hardware and a scary knowledge of code and protocol, must really HATE it when the media calls Paris Hilton a hacker. Please people, channel the power of that hate into something useful.

hackers

Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Compares Herself to Diana and Marilyn

"There's nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde - like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana - and right now, I'm that icon."

Paris Hilton is credited with the above quote. It's almost enough to just let the quote speak for itself. Even if you were not alive on this Earth at the same time as the woman that Paris is equating herself with, you probably have some inkling of what makes them larger than life, decades after they are dead. Here's the litmus test, if anyone other than Paris Hilton ever names a bar or nightclub after her, I will concede that she is right.

Marilyn Monroe

Paris Hilton

Diana

Paris Signs On with the Olsen Twins' Licensing Company

The Beanstalk Group handles licensing for Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen and the U.S. Army. Their recent signing of Paris Hilton could make for some awkward meetings if the silly feuds between Mary-Kate and Paris continue.

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Mary-Kate Olsen
Ashley Olsen
Paris Hilton
US Army

Paris Hilton's Tonsil Hockey Nets Ultimate Penalty For Theodore

Paris Hilton has allegedly busted up the relationship of a Canadian hockey star and his longtime girlfriend.

Paris was in Toronto for a music awards party and part of her time canoodling with Jose Theodore. His girlfriend and the mother of his 3 month old child has reportedly kicked him out of their Montreal home over the incident.

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Paris Hilton
Jose Theodore

Paris Hilton Doing Her Civic Duty

Rich SUV drivers are under attack this week because some guy who only got a little more than 50% of the Presidential vote in 2000 has decided to release a movie making the outlandish claim that increasing CO2 emissions are contributing to global warming. Paris Hilton is no dummy, she has read all the science and come to her own conclusions. She plans to use her big Range Rover to run over smaller, less evolved cars, ones that are not cute at all.

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Paris Hilton

Al Gore

Singer Paris Hilton Discovered By Paris Hilton

“When I finally let go and did it, I realized it is what I am most talented at and what I love to do the most.”

Luckily for Paris Hilton, record label owner Paris Hilton also recognized this unique talent and soon we will all get to hear the silk purse, I mean silken voice.

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Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Launches Her Own Phone Game

She was late for the public appearance, she used the wrong game title during her announcement and there are rumors circulating that she didn't design the game herself. But it is still good marketing. They should get her to endorse dog food.

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Paris Hilton

Paris Had a Drunken Party at Her House: THIS is News?

Actually what was news to me was the fact that she is still with Stavros. The party was in celebration of his birthday and reportedly involved fully clothed jumps into the pool.

I used to go to parties like this... when I was 16. I like to take every opportunity to point out that Pari Hilton is now over 24 years old.

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Paris Hilton

Pink Disses Paris Hilton

Recording artist Pink feels that Paris Hilton is an unsuitable role model for young girls.

Pink is shocked and concerned that young girls may think it's cool to make their own sex tapes because of the way Paris Hilton chooses to live her life.

I'm just bothered by the fact that they go out in public dressed up like Paris.

BE AFRAID.

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Paris Hilton
Pink

How Paris Hilton Sounds in Paris' Head

I haven't heard Paris Hilton's music. She described it at her label launch in 2004 as a mix of Madonna and Blondie. I think she may have inspired this mashup.

Paris Hilton
Debbie Harry
Madonna

Heart of Crass: Paris Hilton Album Release is Coming

Heiress Records is in a neck and neck race with the pride of Bahrain to get music out to an eager buying public.

The record company that Paris founded has not released a record by anyone yet.

Paris Hilton

Paris Latsis Doubts He Will Get Back With Paris Hilton

Paris Latsis opens the door a crack with this quote that 'friends' attribute to him:

"Even if I wanted to get back with her I couldn't, my parents wouldn't allow it."

I think the reason given for Paris Hilton's breakup with her most recent Greek heir is not going to help matters with the Latsis family. If it was real love on the part of both (what IS the plural for Paris?) they could go ahead and have a relationship, they are both over 25 years old
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Paris Hilton

Is Paris Hilton Single ?

"Are there any hot guys here? I need a hot guy."

This is what sources claim Paris said at a party after the quarry she had arranged was a no-show. The breakup with her boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos III, seems to be official.

Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Gets Blacklisted For A Party

The Vanity Fair Post-Oscar Bash was really fun, it had um...people and um...alcoholic beverages and um...oh right, a refreshing lack of Paris Hilton.

Here's where it gets interesting; the organizer was talking about a smaller guest list and 'A listers only', but Nicole Richie was there.

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Paris Hilton

A Judge Grants Restraining Order Against Paris Hilton

The great thing about this court proceeding is that it gave a very public platform to Brian Quintana's assertions that Paris is a really nasty piece of work.

His claims include incidents of pushing, death threats and racial slurs.

He claims that Paris Hilton accused him of encouraging Stavros to leave her and go back to Mary-Kate Olsen.

He says she has a problem with drugs and alcohol and that her seedy associates are cause for concern.

Oh, he still has a schmoozy picture of Paris and himself on his website.

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Paris Hilton

Brian Quintana

But Does This Paris Hilton 'Look-Alike' Have Her Talent ?

Oh, I guess looking like Paris Hilton IS Paris Hilton's only real talent. Before you correct me, guys, that other thing is not a talent.

Natalie Reid's 'talent' earns her up to $2,000 an appearance at corporate functions. As an added perk, she gets to go home at the end of the night and not be Paris Hilton.

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Paris Hilton

Kathy Hilton Wardrobe Functioning... Brain?...Not So Much

I don't know what to say about this. Why didn't someone tell her? These people pay employees to follow them around holding their jackets and purses, couldn't they have them double as a sober set of eyes?

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Nicky Hilton
Paris Hilton
Kathy Hilton

Paris Hilton And Mary-Kate Olsen Reportedly Friends Again

Life and Style Magazine is claiming that Paris Hilton and Mary-Kate Olsen talked through things while seated together at a Golden Globes party. Maybe Mary-Kate has an easier time making nice to Paris now that Miss Hilton is in legal trouble on two fronts and getting lots of bad tabloid press. It's called schadenfreude .

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Paris Hilton
Mary-Kate Olsen